May 20, 2004

Jon Stewart's Commencement Address

Posted by tomo at 01:45 AM in humor . | 10 Comments

I am honored to be here, I do have a confession to make before we get going that I should explain very quickly. When I am not on television, this is actually how I dress. I apologize, but there’s something very freeing about it. I congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes, are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth.
And so it goes.

 

Comments

Haha, that was a pretty good read. A lot better commencement speaker than what we got.

Posted by: ryan at May 20, 2004 12:59 PM

A Tiffany education for a Wal-mart price.

Posted by: polamex at May 20, 2004 1:11 PM

Hahahahaha. Yes! Ivy league schools have nothing on Ohio State.

Posted by: ryan at May 20, 2004 1:22 PM

dude, we got patti labelle. she was the worst. the woman couldn't even read without crying every two minutes...why was SHE crying?

Posted by: tracy at May 20, 2004 1:25 PM

That was pretty awesome. She talked some shit on Christina Aguilerra at your commencement too. Can't beat that.

Posted by: ryan at May 20, 2004 1:27 PM

She was crying? Thats hilarious! Did she have a kid gradumacating or something?

Posted by: polamex at May 20, 2004 1:44 PM

I would have actually gone to commencement if John Stewart had spoken instead of some Texan who can't orate his way out of a paper bag.

Posted by: karen at May 20, 2004 3:09 PM

Hahaha. Didn't people have to get to the Ohio State commencement with George W at like 6am or something rediculous?

Posted by: ryan at May 20, 2004 3:28 PM

I believe you had to be there by 6am, but I wouldn't know because I also didn't go. Shit, my parents didn't want to have to get up that early.

Posted by: Emily at May 20, 2004 4:26 PM

I love this quote I'm sure I will use it on further posts.

"We declared war on terror—it’s not even a noun, so, good luck. After we defeat it, I’m sure we’ll take on that bastard ennui. "

Posted by: John G at May 21, 2004 2:45 PM